So here it is, almost the end of the time, according to the Mayans, which is a special day for travelers because it means you can do and say all those things you’ve been wishing you could ever since the first TSA screener told you to take your shoes off.
Here are just a few of the possibilities that travel humor writer Bob Payne will be trying out. But feel free to contribute your own. And let’s check in day after tomorrow to see how things worked out.
Lean toward the woman whose child just threw his glass of juice at a flight attendant and say, in a compassionate voice, but loud enough for everyone within five or six rows to hear, “Does he take after you or your husband?”
Dine at a nearly impossible-to-get-into restaurant where the cost of the meal includes being humiliated by an insufferable wait staff, and then don’t tip.
Give every single person who puts their hand out — waiter, bellman, concierge, taxi driver, porter, tour guide, beggar on the street– a thousand dollars, by check.
Sample everything in the mini-bar, even the $12 condom.
Walk out of the hotel carrying a TV.
Rent a car, the luxury model, back it into a pole in a parking lot, breaking a tail light, and then happily confess, when that irritating guy with the hand-held device is checking you in, “Yep. I did it.”
Go ahead, ski the double black diamond.
